Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Gripetitude

Today's been hard, emotionally.  No big sobfests on my part, but the kids are sort of coming unglued.  Who wouldn't be, given the circumstances of their lives?  It's not like they just have a dad with brain cancer...they also have a mom who is very fatigued and chronically ill and who struggles with her own health every day.  And they have siblings who have autism to deal with, who need extra care and love and patience.  All this added together renders our family one big mess. 

I won't go into details.  Suffice it to say, more than one of us lost our temper, had a melt down, raised our voices, got super tired....it was a day.

In order to diffuse some of the negative energy I took three of the kids to the zoo for a walk.  It was colder than we wanted it to be and not all the animals were out, but at least we walked and breathed somewhat fresher air for a couple of hours.

I should not have gone because I have a hellish chest cold, but I popped a Dayquil and off we went. Now I'm UP UP UP!  Because...speed.

Naturally we came home exhausted.  Which resulted in more melt downs and more tears and more self-injury etc. etc. blah blah blah (yay, autism!)

Eventually things calmed down, and I went and picked up Wes from work and we came home and I proceeded NOT to fix supper (everyone grabbed their own thing).  I washed dishes so that Wes could tinker with the dripping faucet.  I've not been able to fix it.  He wasn't able to fix. it.  For weeks we have been turning the water off and on UNDER the sink when we need to use the kitchen sink.  This is a giant pain in the hinderquarters.  Truly, it is.  Need to call the plumber soon, then, since we both took a crack at it to no avail. 

[Paragraph deleted due to too much personal private griping and complaining.]

...and he's scared of chemo next week and how sick it will make him.  I would be too.  My heart hurts to think about his suffering.

I need more love and compassion.  And way less gripetitude. 

7 comments:

Bev. Cooke said...

Hugs and prayers. Sometimes you need a gripetitude, just to be able to go on. You are one of the least complaining people I've encountered, and your faith is an inspiration to me. Keep on keeping on, and know that God is there, holding your hand every step of the way.

Unknown said...

T. here. Any chance your landlord might help with the cost (at least any new hardware that is required)? We have the same "faucet won't stop leaking but we don't know how to fix it" problem. Don't want to pay for a plumber, don't want to pay for wasted water. Unfortunately there isn't a handy turn off valve for the tub. So I just keep a bucket or pitcher under the faucet and use it to water the plants, flush the toilet, help fill the washing machine, or just soak stained clothes until I can get them in the wash. Its not a solution, just a stop-gap, but it will have to do.

Matushka Anna said...

(((Hugs))) Praying for you every day. <3

Steve said...

Why should you be ashamed of sharing the struggles of your life?
We appreciate what you are experiencing...thank you for your honesty.
And the thing is, you KNOW you are complaining...so much complaining these days doesn't have anything behind it saying something true and encouraging.
One day at a time, Alana.
One day at a time.
And keep sharing.

Steve said...

Oops...that was actually Steve's wife, Gean...

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keeperofthebirds womanwalkininfaith said...

Keeping your family in my prayers if does help if you and Wes pray together before his treatments. Try your best to keep the stress away from your front door. You have enough. I am keeping you on my daily prayer list. Wes will recover from this. Much love Alana, womanwalkininfaith